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You can look at him and be happy? It’s been five months since I found out amd feel like I will never be able to smile at him the way I once did. My trust in his faithfulness was over the top amd I fear I’ll never be able to see the man I once saw.
Jennifer, My husband of 22 years also cheated with a long time friend of our family that I hired and supplied her and her son a home with so that she could work with my husband. I she had nowhere to live or work . I had confided in her that he was struggling with depression and was under a great amount of stress for a multitude of reasons. I was very worried for him. He wouldn’t get the help he needed no matter what I did or said. He knew he wasn’t well but wouldn’t help himself. This story has so many layers it would take forever to explain. I thought We had a good marriage , we were best friends. Long story short , our 21 year old daughter caught him basically red handed with this woman while I was out of town one night. It imploded our world, our family! That was 6 months ago. I was devastated, the betrayal from both of them was overwhelming, I was numb for 2 months. My husband was suicidal so I had to care for the man who had broke my heart before taking care of myself. We finally got him the medication he needed for so long. We are so fortunate https://kissbrides.com/pt-pt/blog/coreano-vs-chines-vs-japonesa-mulheres/ to find an amazing therapist who we see individually and together. We have committed to work at this. It’s very hard, I’m still sad most days. I ruminate hours a day, but slowly it’s getting better. My husband is better than the man I married, he’s working so hard to make me feel safe. “She” was his rock bottom. I still struggle to understand, but he doesn’t understand,,so I think we will never know exactly what drove him to her. he doesn’t get a pass for being depressed and turning to an affair to medicate but I know it wasn’t him,, he wasn’t thinking clearly at all. We are working towards normalizing our family again. It’s been 2 steps forward 1 step backwards. Sometimes 3-4 steps back. It’s a process. We have corrected a number of things in our marriage we hadn’t realized were out of whack. We renewed our vows in our therapist office. It was a recommitment to each other. I’m Not going to lie, I still have days where I feel I will never be able to forgive. I never expected in a million years this is where my life would be at this point of my life, I’m 59 with grand babies,, another reason to work on keeping our family together.
Its been 10 years after he cheated on me and it still hurts. I have forgiven him straight after it happened and we decided to move on. Recently he ignored my calls and texts only after the 40th attempt!! I feel very insecure and he blames me for not trusting him. I told him I don’t want to step on him at all and be reminded of his betrayal. i am suffering from depression and PTSD and need more security. Our communication need to improve. i mention we need to see marriage counselor but he say we r ok. i keep telling him to google about my feeling and our situation so he can understand my sense of in security, hurt and flash back. he refused. what should i do?
